Your dad was an Apple Fanboy before you were and he’s attended the Keynotes to prove it. He was a Cupertino badass that repped the forbidden fruit logo harder than the Hell’s Angels repped their patch. The name “Bill Gates” was a curse word in his home and you’d get command key-stroke killed just for using it. He only needed one button to graphically interface his world because he appreciated the simplicity and beauty Saint Jobs crafted into every microchip masterpiece.
So hipsters, next time you’re rocking pants-granite over the newest iSomething or smugly sitting in a coffee shop looking down your screen at everyone tainting your Wi-Fi with their Dell, remember this…
Your dad can Command-E you out of existence if you ever step out of line or touch his iPad again.
P.S. Why do hipsters think Steve Jobs is so cool? Because he’s underground. (Too soon?)
This is my favorite one yet.